It has been a deeply difficult couple days, filled with the depths of shadow work that define my, our, movement to the the new paradigm… where I’ve been faced with the realization, “this doesn’t stop”, the unendingness of creation, the gradually unwinding spiral of karmas and dharmas, of patterns and purposes, that either make up the fun ride through the human condition, or the carousel of insanity. And here, is the Balance of the Middle Way, to be found. That it is here, in the crucible of Facing It, that I cleanse and redeem the patterns that make up form, moving from incoherence to coherence as the wholistic perspective drops in.
Realms of Shadow
The shadows of the self roll thick through the inner landscape. Where is the joy? I think, as I face my portion of the collective distortion. A place I had been before, lest we pretend there is nothing to clear. So much has been coming up for me. Feeling overwhelmed by it all, the unendingness of process, and the distortions of this day and age, collectively speaking. Where, due to the pressures of the karmic patterns that seek resolution through the redemption, we are the vessels. So, again, I’m called to the echelons of devotion, to the presence of this ever present moment, coming back to the healing, to the meditations of non-judgement, forgiveness and unconditional love… but it’s all boiling to the surface.
Getting to the Heart of It
I go for a walk, just to process. So much pain in my heart, feelings of betrayal. That so many have lost our humanity, poisoning the sacred earth. I could feel the traces of the pollution inside, feeling an overwhelming responsibility. I centered into opening my heart and embracing all I’m feeling. It’s so difficult, and there’s so much, so many layers peeling away. Parts of myself that I’ve been numb and repressed, coming up to the light from the darkness my own subconscious.
As I was walking, I was feeling so hopeless, so much despair at facing the terrible things that are going on on this planet, the abuse of power, the systematic slavery. And I know we are returning to wholeness, to oneness, but there is so much injustice. And I felt this feeling before, of overwhelm, of deep deep sadness of the departure from what it what is truly human. This is inhuman, Not of our true nature, which is godliness and goodness. My higher self knows this.
And it’s difficult, because the times I feel an alien to this place, to these ways of modernity. It’s this feeling that I don’t belong, that it hurts to be here. That I belong to something so much more real and ancient, something actually alive, not this zombified dead culture that drains our essence… but I feel connected something else, to heaven, and knowing it can be here, a place where we are actually free, where we are deeply connected and sharing the gift of life. Every part of me longs to return, and yet even that must be tempered.
Signs along the Way…
I’m reminded by something Peter Fae said to me yesterday, that Dispenza once said “hope is for beggars.” As they face it, I ask what is it that I’m calling into existence, where is my faith? Where is my power? I faced a sense of helplessness, of looking at people and this way of life, seeing it to be so lost and not aligned with Nature. And through it, all I feel that I can do is heal, and anchor the solutions into the field in a larger service the transcends my attachments.
People have to be their own Savior. I’m not going to wait around for someone to come down here and save me, we are the chosen ones. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for, the ones who sent here to restore this garden to heaven on earth. It’s up to us. All of us. The Christ is within us, God is within us, we are all one. And this is the time of the great remembrance. This is our anthem, this is my prayer. To anchor this awakening.
As I walk, this painted canvas appears, under a frame, of a celestial goddess in the ocean of space looking lovingly on the earth, rippling in the water. I think, of course, thankful for the reminder. Walking a bit further, there are more frames on the pavement, and I notice it as a reoccuring theme. I must shift the frame of my perspective.
So I walk on, feeling the call to the water as I approach the green where steps descend. I look up at the green, vines that have wrapped themselves around a street light, reclaiming it as part of the eco-system. Apropos.
Healing with the Water
I come to the water, seeking solace. Rejuvenation, redemption. To fill the easement in the grace, the flow of waters. I sense the Nagas, The water dragons of the earth, spirits of the water. Within and without, living in both blood and stream. I feel the tug and pull, the tide and flow. Where we’ve been stagnated and ignored our own divinity, ignored our own essence and mistreated the Aina. I face at all With the intent of unconditional love, which always has teachings for me. Endless. I am the eternal student of love.
So much was coming up, as I both felt the soothing of the waters and sense the pollution in the nearby area. I listen to a water prayer song, ground into the space, settling into the intention for healing. I drew up on the mana, the healing energy and peace of sacred space. As I’m at the spring, I’m reminded, to be here now and appreciate the gift of life, to get out of my head and back into my breath. To ground in to this moment, to what’s right in front of me, to work power I actually have to create.
Such a deep caring for the earth. In the tongue of the Aina they call this ones kuleana, our responsibility as stewards of the earth. We’ve been in a time of such distortion, we’ve been so disconnected. And I can feel the land speaking to me, the water is calling to me. Where I’ve been disconnected, I’ve been longing to return to source. So I approach humbly, to reconnect to Source.
And how to embody? I felt this as I dropped into devotion. As I felt my heart cracking open through the pain into compassion for humanity. As I felt the sacred essence of the waters of love inside of me, as me, working through me, to restore sanctity. As I flowed the energies In the movements prayer, the Akasha yoga. To restore balance to the elements within. Feeling a flush energy of the dragon spring, for a moment, resolving into the softness of the deva. This is all of course my unique love language with the creation, my interpretation of the sensation of the elements in the energy work. And we all have our own relationship. This is the gift.
Cleaning the Sacred Land
As I clean the sacred land without, I clear within. I’m drawn to pickup some bits from the bush, feeling it clogging the energy that wants to flow through. A fresh breath of life opens, with a sense of cleanliness as I do, the land thanking me for my efforts. The birds resound, as I sense the elementals cheering me on.
It’s much deeper, still, as the textures in the subtle planes shimmer gentle, humming with more life-force, afforded by the removal of that which clogs the flow. In this, I gain more access, as there is no separation. I feel the textures within my own body open, as an extension of the Earth. I can feel the presences when I quiet my mind, listen, reside and connect, regarding Gaia as Sacred and Alive.
I just felt the first drop of rain, and the sound of thunder in the distance. I feel her washing me clean, as I return to the temple, the dissolution of the fire and pain inside, unwinding into clarity as I jot my notes for this journal. Inside this crucible, a deep clearing comes, abiding in the central channel of opening. I come back to what is True, to sadhana, to sanctity, to patience and surrender.
Here, as I drop further into the meditations, and wake for the kundalini yoga, there is a cleanliness and purification. The attainment of prosperity dropping into form, through the arduous devotion that now seeks release in a space of easement. Having been on the pilgrims path for a hot minute, this quarantine has been a blessing for us, for me, where I can actually settle into a grounding space for an extended period to bring offerings to earth.
The abundance is always here, underneath the ripples
I remember, bringing it back into the body. Today, I feel clear, centered, and determined, no longer overwhelmed by the old traumas that were tremmoring, aching for the attentions of my devotion for self-love to redemption; but rather, a new beginning, again, here and now, as major expansions kiss the air with the lightnings of inspiration. There are movements forward, openings in the Field of the Akasha. Where I navigate to bright fellowship with Peter and Misty, sensing the way of presenting the Stories and Academy.
In this, is a deep siddhic virtue of awareness; of embodied mythos and valuable transformation. Where the subtlety of consistency gained through the “meditative mind”, as Jai Dev puts it, brings up the gems of the Essential Self to abiding awareness, along with a recognition of the holism that brings healing and clarity of my service. I am inspired, now, having done the morning practice with Life Force Academy, where I now drop into ministrations on the computer, the organization of the business of myth, bringing fruits to our labor.
Curious after a conversation with Misty, I research about giant ancient trees.
Seeing photos of large table mesas that look like giant “planed” trees, with rings and all. Leads me to a 1000 year old map from a newspaper in 1907 claiming to show more land beyond Antartica. So many questions, embracing new possibilities of worldview, that our ancient heritage is much more vast and complex, filled with mysteries, and the world is much larger than we can even conceive.
The vastness pervades, a sense of infinite possibilities, as I feel the branches of the World Tree that connects all realities in the manifest Worlds. This leads me to further clarify this aspect of the guide for new Authors, to support the Mythica coming out.
Manifestation of Equipment
“I went to get the screen, passed a Tesla on the way. When I got to the house, the number was 1111. He ended up giving me the screen for free, along with the other as bonus because it needs to be fixed.” Peter shares with me, returning from his trip. such a sign of the abundance.
A desk, computer screen, poster and the like, all gifts that have come in the recent days. Ever present affirmations and blessings, as I set up a workstation in the room of the temple. It is so soothing to be able to ground in here, to organize things for publishing and bring together the Author’s Guide, as I approach the space to be able to focus more on the writing and the music. There is still much to be done to prepare the site, yet, there is a feeling of expansion and space, a fresh breath that all is well, and there is plenty, we are provided for. This has paralleled the gradual healing of the root and shadows of value, transforming in the redemption of relationship.
Reflecting on the Proofs of Support
Even the laptop had only come to me in December, when I visited family. My last one had fallen in a pool while I was showing a Mythica comic I made to one of the goddesses on the way to Wynden Keep in 2018, and I had learned to track the journey and produce everyone on just the iPad and iPhone, which led to the model that anyone can do it, no matter their setup. My Mom had an macbook pro that she was no longer using, and it was only when I was led to describe how it could perfectly fit my needs, that she was able to see that she could give it me. She wasn’t sure if it would work for what I wanted to do, up to that point, and she had transferred to using a different computer.
None of these things are mundane, but rather the surface manifestation of something much deeper; that there is a moment in time when we receive inspirations, when we are led to ask, to give, and that is all part of how the Divine works through our lives, to facilitate the abundance that leads us towards our dreams. This is the Physics of the Quest.
I look over my workspace; guitar, screen, mouse that just came today, the desk yesterday, even the food on my plate; all the workings of the Divine. Gratitude fills my being, at being so supported on the Quest.
“That’s the opening to abundance, the north-east corner. Look, you’re under the naked angel, by the window, next the oils and diffuser. You are set up!” Misty says to me in the Temple. “It’s the proper fengshui, how the energy flows.”
On the way to get a free keyboard, Peter and I discuss how to best allow the story work to flow, delivering the gift of the Mythica to the World.
“The bull has fallen.” Peter points to an iron bull laying by the pavement on the way back.
I see it as a reflection of my own stubbornness, falling away. The very stoniness of structure that seeks the balance of water, of flow, that we were speaking of along the drive. It’s an expression of the Physics of the Quest, that the right thing comes to us in the right time to facilitate our own balance, the language of the universe communicating to use in a way we can each understand, relative to our Divine Design, the seed within of our soul’s structure.
The Star Child & Sacred Mother
Billy wants to be painted, and in the sacred communion of Mother and Child, he emerges shining and happy. The spirals of creation, and the eye of seeing.
“So Pleiaden.” I say, with a smile. That which wants to come through is always there, underneath, awaiting our creative expression and the hands of the Divine for it to emerge.
It’s so beautiful to witness their relationship, just as I would come to share with Misty, my deepening appreciation for her loving care, for Billy to be able to shine. It brings me faith and hope in the process of life, a healing of my own inner child. That we can return to our innocence, to our creativity and our magic, that it is okay to be here, and this world needs us.
Such a redemption has come in these few days, where what started as a difficult and dark descent, emerges through on the other side as an expansion of expression, a healing and reminder to Embody. To continue to drop in, and be present with the Gift of Life. The Quest continues, as it always dose…