First thing I wake from dreams again of being chased and running away from something that wants to destroy me.
As I open my eyes at sunrise to invoke gratitude for life, I feel tired, as a shadowy energy hangs over my chest and stomach. I just want to sleep it away, but I know I must face the day. I am in the shadowlands.
Across my minds eye beings of the past, a karmic circle resolving dominance and submission. Of those of the community who thought it was their right to try to guide me without my consent, or held no accountability and didn’t keep their word, or beyond that, tried to control me within their ideals of how one should be. Disgust flares in my throat, appalled by the lack of integrity and sovereignty displayed by these beings.
So I breath. I drop in. I soften my gaze, allowing the patterns to arise, shifting into a place of allowing and nonjudgment, as I intentionally move through my breath the tone of forgiveness and compassion through my form, especially into the areas of the body of tightness. As the nimbus of my awareness approaches these areas, the beings associated with this trauma appear in my mind’s eye. I hold my regard towards them as an aspect of my own self, that there is no separation, taking responsibility for my part in the play.
I get through a few rounds of this, coming into greater detachment and compassion, for everyone doing the best the could with the awareness they had at the time, as the disgust begins to clear from the back of my throat. I have to move, meditating on this is too uncomfortable. So I start doing pull-ups, with each one breath forgiveness, letting go, and allowing love into the self.
I have success with clearing the energy. But I have to keep moving, so I invoke the power of dance, into my own natural chi-gong, allowing the energies to move through while deepening into the breath. Its a natural yoga for me, one I enjoy.
After this, I do my regular morning routine of the kriya yoga, drawing upon the inspirations of the yogis who have come before me and shared their transmission, such as Samson Love, a bright yogi ally who first showed Peter and I some Kundalini techniques at the Magician’s Oasis. Every breath, I move deeper into the space of love and devotion, presencing and allowing my channels to open. Its deeply helpful to clear the energies, and I bow to Samson to being the vessel of the Divine that brought this and the tones of the Self Realization Fellowship to us before we journeyed on to Encinitas.
It really is a breath by breath process. And it can be challenging at time. To feel the disgust and indignation rising within me as I hold the posture, shifting my inner asana to move into alignment with the love and devotion. At times, that shift is like lifting a weight, and its building this inner muscle.
Truly, only through the yogic process have I been able to come to such a place in my life, to a more consistent access and ability to travel the realms, to live such a magical life. I explore more on this and my shadow-work in this video.
It is relieving, to cast the authenticity. To deepen the charge of my calling to reveal the process and stand in truth, for we are a full-spectrum being. There is something that unlocks, as my voice opens more, embracing a couple song spells with clarity and ease of casting, as a sense of fun and love moves up and through my center.
Its not easy. Yet, this is the Work. For if we wish to truly marry the Universe as our Beloved, we are going to have to face all the relationship distortions of the old paradigm and cleanse them through the active yoga of our Devotion. This, I truly feel, is the only way to be the change we wish to see(d).
By noon my mood improves. I feel productive, that I am steadily working towards the goal of the financial sovereignty and the consistency of publishing, this fills me with a sense of momentum and fulfillment. Still, the edges of this morning hand on my aura, so I devote myself to further cleansing as the Quest continues…
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